Being True to Myself in the Free Green Chair
Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 8:10PM 
My Style Story
Part 1
I began working in my teens.
When I got my paycheck on Friday,
I headed for the mall and spent every penny
on clothes and makeup.
I had a budget, or as my Mommy used to say,
"Mija, you have champagne taste and beer money,
so you need to work."
I was raised by my Mexican, single mother,
and we were on the poor side of the tracks.
I remember being the only kid in the class who
didn't have a dad around when I was
growing up. That was back in the late 60's-70's,
before divorce was like it is today.
When my mother married my stepfather
(when I was 12), I saw how the other half lived,
because he had a wealthy sister, or,
rather, she married a man who was rich.
When I saw material riches for the first time,
I became fascinated by it, all of it.
I thought it was the greatest thing ever!
And the clothes, my new step aunt was
so elegant, I can still remember her blond hair,
crystal blue eyes, her camel monochromatic outfit
with matching turban and her amazing platform shoes.
I will always remember her tan wrist, glistening
in the sparkling pool, and those amazing gold bracelets
almost melting together as they glowed in the sun.
After that one weekend I spent at their home,
I wanted to get out of poverty with all my being.
Once I saw there was another way to live,
I wanted out of where I was. I knew there
was a better way, or rather, a more comfortable way.
I was used to hearing, "No, we can't afford
that". I heard that over and over again growing up.
I couldn't go to camp, or get piano lessons, or
get those little wooden platform shoes because we
couldn't afford it. I still have dreams about
those little wooden shoes. :-)
My mother made sure I had jobs every summer
so I could buy my school clothes and
when I was a sophomore in high school,
I worked at a sandwich shop every day
after classes ended. I worked there for a year
and then, trying to be helpful, I got my friend a job
and she worked beside me. After a few weeks,
they liked her better and I was fired.
I then got a job at Montgomery Wards, working
in the cosmetic and perfume department.
I have been thinking deeply about my earlier years lately.
As I approach 50, my past is being replayed in my mind.
I seem to be connecting to that part of me that loved
clothes and especially wearing them.
The part that I have slowly but surely let go
of over the decades.
At one point I began my mad pursuit of the spiritual
side of life, and I buried the desire for nice things.
I put myself on a materialistic diet so to speak,
convinced that I could not be spiritual and pursue
the physical at the same time, even after I learned
that it was possible.
I began to live in a type of sartorial abstinence,
as compared to the earlier days, when I
thoroughly enjoyed clothing and dressing
myself. I would still dress up, but not with
the same drive and passion. I thought I
was just getting older and turning grannyish.
As the years went by, I shed more and more
of my desire for sporting beautiful clothes
and jewelry, and convinced myself
I was over all of that.
I was more mature and older now.
I would tell myself I must shed the material side
to strengthen myself spiritually.
I could not grasp that physical things mixed
very well with the soul.
They seemed to be in opposition, at least in my mind.
If you look into my crystal ball you will see Tooth Soap® in your future. :-)
At one point I stopped dressing up and even wearing makeup
and didn't care how I looked. I lived in jeans and t-shirts,
something I would never do before. I clearly let my style go.
I see now that I was not being true to myself those years
I did not dress up. I had reasons when I didn't, but I wasn't being
my old honest self. I wasn't enjoying my clothes like years before.
Over time I discovered that my love of beautiful
things does not conflict with my spiritual pursuits.
Material things I love are delightful to me,
therefore bringing me joy.
Joy is mandatory when seeking the spiritual side of things.
I don't dress for anyone else but myself.
The fashion show is my own.
Being true to who I am is more spiritual than trying to bury those
things that my mind believed were in conflict with my soul.
Today I am being true.
I love clothes and shoes (especially shoes).
And not just any clothes and shoes.
I love DESIGNER stuff.
I love QUALITY and even though I grew up
with meager means, my mother taught me
to go for quality and don't buy CHEAP ANYTHING.
She believed it was better to have less and
high quality, than a bunch of cheap junk!
I love my Mommy's advice!
I don't need to feel guilty about surrounding myself
with the most beautiful things in life anymore.
I don't need to hide it or be embarrassed by it.
Embracing my desire and love of even gorgeous
luxury is helping to nourish my soul now.
So what about the green chair?
My daughter and I found it today on a curb
when we were walking in the early morning.
It was free so I thought it would be fun to
reupholster it; we now have a little summer project.
How funny is that?
As I re-embrace my love of luxury everything, I can't
seem to resist an old chair on the side of the road.
I guess you can take the girl out of some poverty,
but you can't take the curb trash out of the girl. :-)
Thank you for joining me today.
What is your style story?
Whatever it is, stay true to yourself!
See you next time,
Cashmere sweater: Chanel 03 Earrings: Vintage Chanel
Sunglasses: Tom Ford Gold Bracelets and Pearls: Old treasures
Ridiculously amazing clear ball bag: Judith Leiber
Hair hat: Gabor Shoes: Qxtra
This post is sponsored by Tooth Soap®
Learn more about why I do what I do.
Chanel, Judith Leiber, Zsa Zsa Gabor
Reader Comments (13)
What a wonderfully honest post. I too have been through ups and downs with taking care of myself and it's always been a journey trying to stay authentic to myself. There is always more to learn and in those times when I may not have looked like I cared much on the outside I was right where I needed to be at the time. Thanks for sharing your story. These style blogs, or "personal style magazines" I like to call them are a huge source of inspiration!
What a wonderful post, Rachel - you tell your story beautifully and have pulled me into it as if I know you for 30 years! I have also struggled with my love of material things and have come to see beauty in so many forms. You, for example, look gorgeous in your soft colors today, and thereby introduce more joy into the world. Thanks for sharing with Visible Monday.
PS - your comment on my post makes me smile, thanks!
What a wonderful story, Rachel!
You are a beautiful soul, and I love seeing you in designer duds...especially shoes!!
Keep on truckin' my lady!!
Such a fabulous post....I will be back with a proper comment, but I just want you to know now how very much I loved your 'style story'! Kudos my dear! You just brought so much depth and interest to your blog!
Hmmm...I wrote a big long comment on this post the other day but it is not here. Either I did something wrong or I was censored (?) ; ). This is a great post, very insightful and honest. I think it is wonderful that you can balance your love of luxury with a love of "curb trash" too. Personally, I am more about the trash than the luxury...LOL. I love finding "treasures", rescuing furniture and dogs, recycling clothes, and buying vintage. Bottom line, it is good to know what you like because when you do style comes together effortlessly--as it has for you.
I am so glad you have your style back!
love that chair and your skirt!
Xo Megan
You have a very unique style that you can only say "it's mine"! My style revolve I am more confident as I approach 50's too. I am more daring with colors and dress style but with elegance and good taste. Like that chair I do pick stuff at the curb and turns out really great upholstery. Happy Monday!
Kim,USA
What a lovely post! Loved reading your story! And I am very happy you got your style back again!
Rebecca
www.winnipegstyle.ca
Such a wonderful post! I also have discovered the joy and, yes, empowerment, of dressing for ME! It is so much more fun when I do not worry what others think. You are gorgeous and dress like you just stepped off the streets of New York! Keep up the great work! I think we both agree that this is FUN!
Lovely post! I love that sweater and those shoes are amazing. ;)
Coincidentally, my post today is a reflective one talking about how I've become re-energized when it comes to fashion and beauty!
I couldn't agree with you more about how we can be spiritual and still true to ourselves. We are not nuns. :)
Your beauty and elegance or so inspiring!
Cindy at Notes in the Key of Life
You are so beautiful and thank you for this very clear and personal story. I agree that beauty is part of the spirit - it is required for full nourishment of our spirit. I also went through phases similar to yours and only having rediscovered the need for beauty - in art, architecture, clothing, design, etc. - have I really begun to see colour and light. Your post is inspiring. Your outfit, accessories, setting, all exude luxury in the sense that they soothe all of my senses.